Greetings, brave digital wanderers! Before you press send on your 73rd cat video of the day (Mr. Whiskers deserves his spotlight), let’s dive deep into the mesmerizing world of Email Marketing… That’s right, the place where you’re trying not to sound too robotic or too desperate, all while convincing someone to click on that tiny link you’ve hidden under a ‘Buy Now’ button. Easy, right?

The Start of it All: The Subject Line

This is basically the “Do I open this or send it to the abyss of my spam folder?” question in the recipient’s mind. Just like your friend’s Facebook status updates – it needs to be short, snappy, and mysterious, but not “I-got-abducted-by-aliens” kind of mysterious. More like, “Guess what happened at the grocery store today?!” kind of mysterious. The key here is to grab attention without resorting to “CONGRATULATIONS! You’ve won $1,000,000!” because let’s be honest, nobody believes that anymore. Well, except for Uncle Bob. But he also believes in Bigfoot, so…

Don’t Be a Wall of Text

No one, I repeat, NO ONE, wants to read through an email that looks like it was written by someone who just ingested a thesaurus. And if they wanted to read ‘War and Peace’, they’d pick up the actual book. So, cut to the chase. If you’re selling socks, don’t tell them the entire history of socks. Just tell them why yours won’t give them athlete’s foot or play hide and seek in the washing machine.

Use Images, But Not Like Your Aunt Loraine

We all have an Aunt Loraine who sends those glittery GIFs and insists on forwarding emails about chain letters. Don’t be an Aunt Loraine. Use relevant, high-quality images that don’t scream “I downloaded this off a shady website!” Remember, a picture is worth a thousand words, but in email marketing, it’s worth a thousand unsubscribes if done wrong.

Call to Action (CTA): What You Really Want Them to Do

This isn’t a time for Shakespearean monologues. “To click, or not to click, that is the question!” Simplify. “Shop Now,” “Read More,” or “Save Me from My Cat Video Obsession.” Okay, maybe not the last one, but you get the gist.

Testing, Testing… Is This Thing On?

Before launching your email campaign, test it. Not just on your computer, but on your phone, your tablet, and heck, even on your smart fridge if you’re into that kind of luxury. Because nothing says “I’m not a professional” more than an email that looks like it was formatted by a squirrel on caffeine. We use Email on Acid to test every email before sending. (And no this post is not sponsored, but we totally would take sponsorship if you’re into that kind of thing).

Unsubscribe – The Button We Hate to Love

Let’s face it, breakups are hard. But sometimes, people need to move on. If someone wants to unsubscribe from your emails, don’t make it hard. A simple click should do. And resist the urge to send them a passive-aggressive message like, “Was it something we said?” It was, but you’ll never find out what, and those emails are kind of eye-roll.

Measuring Success (Or Failure)

After you hit that terrifying “Send” button, you’ll want to know if your email was a hit or if it bombed harder than that karaoke performance last Friday night. Use metrics! For every email we send, we review open rates, click-through rates, revenue, unsubscribes, and a few other KPIs, depending on the client. And we try to provide context for those numbers — what worked AND what should we try differently next time.

Avoid the Dreaded SPAM!

Avoid using words that trigger spam filters like “FREE,” “GUARANTEE,” or “100% SATISFIED” in all caps. Unless you want your beautifully crafted email to end up in the electronic equivalent of the Bermuda Triangle. (We’ve got more technical tips on avoiding the spam box coming in a future blog…. so stay tuned!)

Personalize, but Not in a Creepy Way

“Hello [First Name], we noticed you looked at our green socks last Thursday at 3:27 pm.” NOPE. Just because you have data doesn’t mean you should go full stalker mode. A simple, “Hi, Sarah!” works just fine.

Respect the Holy Trilogy: Value, Relevance, and Timing

Always provide value. Don’t just clutter someone’s inbox because you can. Make it relevant. If they bought cat toys, they probably don’t want an email about dog food. And timing! Sending an email at 3 am might only be appealing if you’re selling insomnia cures.

To sum it all up, email marketing is like making a sandwich. You’ve got to have the right ingredients, in the right order, and please, for the love of all things digital, don’t make it too messy. Happy emailing! And if all else fails, just remember: even Aunt Loraine’s glittery GIFs get opened once in a while.

Want someone us to manage your email marketing? Let’s talk.